I just rediscovered my 7th grade diary at my parents' house, and while I had a lot of fun reading it, there were certain parts that made me cringe and even more parts that made me sad...like this quote for example:
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| What I would like to change about myself this year: "Get prettier and have more people like me". |
Later, in high school the bullying stopped but it changed into something that's almost as bad but isn't talked about as often...being ignored completely. I remember being at Field Hockey practice during summer break in August, a few weeks before school started. It was brutally hot outside and during our lunch break, this popular girl invited the whole team (except for me and one other girl) over to her house to swim in her pool. All I wanted to do was call my Mom and ask her to come and get me but I didn't want to leave the other girl by herself. So I stayed and had lunch with her and we ended up becoming good friends.
I sometimes wonder if my love of beauty products started with my desire to "get prettier", but I honestly don't know. Probably.
I guess when you feel like you're ugly, you become more focused on looks than most people. Lord knows I was! Of course, I don't feel that way anymore and now makeup is just a fun hobby. I leave the house without it all the time and couldn't care less what people think. But years ago, I would spend entire dates with a guy or time at a party worrying about how I looked rather than letting loose and having a good time, all the while I was afraid that if I didn't look good, people wouldn't like me.
My wish is that girls will learn to be kind to each other and support one another so that we can focus on our actual lives, our true passions, and who we want to become, rather than trying to make other people like us on the outside.
It has taken me until my 30's to feel confident about myself and in many ways, I feel like I missed out on life in my teens and twenties because I was too afraid to meet new people, try new things, or to speak my mind for fear of being mocked or ridiculed.
So please, remember to be kind to others. Bullying has more of an impact on a person's soul than anyone realizes...the effects go way beyond just that moment or that day.